BEDA 31: Not an Ending....

Today is the last day of August, which means that today is also the last day of Blog Every Day in August. This month positively FLEW by. This is something I've really thought a lot about this month. How quickly time goes.

It's gotten so that I can't make myself get excited for something because I know that before I know it, the thing I was looking forward to will be over, and then what? Find something else to be excited about would be the logical solution. But is that all life is to most of us? A series of building excitement and then the eventual boredom that resurfaces once the excitement is over?

When I was in 8th grade, I was IN LOVE with Green Day. They were my everything. This sounds ridiculous, but I spent 95% of my day thinking about them. I still love them and they are still my favorite band (I used to be so embarrassed to admit that, but now I think, Why should I care what you think of my favorite band? It doesn't change what they mean to me.) but it was beyond an obsession back then. I was going to go to their concert, and this was my first concert, and I couldn't believe I would finally be seeing my favorite band live. I would be hearing their music and seeing their faces in REAL TIME right in front of me. But I couldn't make myself be excited. I mean, of course I couldn't wait to finally see them perform, but I knew that if I got excited I would be that much more sad once the concert was over. I didn't want it to end so I didn't want to be excited. Does that make sense? I hope so.

Another thing related to this is my recent Leaving Seattle and One of My Best Friends adventure. This last year was amazing and one of the greatest years of my life. The last day there with Ellie was probably one of the worst days of my life. I didn't want to leave. I didn't want to be over. I hate that something I loved so much had to end. But it did, and it has been a while. I've processed it and, though I'm still not over it, I'm okay with it. It ended, but Ellie is still here and I'm still here and we're still friends.

Something ends, and we move on.

But if I think too much about it, about how everything ends eventually, I get depressed and think, well, what's the point of anything I do? What's the point of getting excited? Getting excited and counting down the days just makes things come and go that much quicker. I also think, Why bother doing anything at all that you enjoy if it's just going to be over? One could argue that, depending what it is, you could come out of it a stronger person, or a more well rounded person, or a smarter person, or anything like that. I think that's why I like books so much. You read a book, and it's fun, and then it's over. But books are never over. Books are full of ideas that you take with you and hold on to forever. The more books you read, the more ideas you have in your possession and the more tools you have for getting through your daily existence. Books make you stronger, books make you more well rounded, books make you smarter. And if you ever wanted the experience again, pick up the book and start at the beginning.

I love college, but sooner than I think, my time and experience here will be over. But the ideas I glean from this campus's every pore will stick with me until I die.


Not sure what the point of this was, but it was nice getting my thoughts out there. And because of BEDA, I'm definitely going to be blogging a lot more.

Days until the Pumpkin Spice Latte Returns: 6

BEDA 10: Hector and the Search for Happiness

This morning I finished the book my school sent me for orientation, Hector and the Search for Happiness by Francois Lelord. I started it with a good feeling because it looked short and sweet, but once I got through a couple chapters, it started to infuriate me. The story is pretty good, it's about a psychiatrist who hated having his patients be unhappy for no reason and he wanted to travel around the world to figure out what makes people unhappy. He goes to China, Africa, and Los Angeles. Of course, the narrator never explicitly says that Hector goes to Africa or Los Angeles, you have to figure it out for yourself. And thus began the infuriation (I think I just made up that word). The author writes as if the reader is a five year old, using euphemisms to avoid using Grown Up Words for things, like sex or...I should have written down examples because there is an abundance. It got so that I could only read a chapter or two at a time before I rolled my eyes at the condescension and put it down for the day. The last couple chapters got better because it was mostly wrapping up and they didn't have to introduce any new concepts difficult for the reader's small brain to handle. If you like books that are written simply, then you will enjoy this. Not to sound pretentious and pedantic, I like books with more complex writing (like anything by Michael Chabon, who, if you haven't, you must read immediately.) so most of the time I found it boring and condescending and I just couldn't take it.

However, I am going to try to write an essay on it by friday so I can possibly win an essay contest and get all of my first semester books paid for. And that would be amazing.

Speaking of first semester, I started packing last night! I'm surprised I made it this far into the summer without packing for this year. I LOVE packing. I don't know why. It may have to do with my being excited about whatever it is for which I am doing the packing. I haven't started packing clothes yet, except sweaters, because I'm, well, wearing them. I've mostly been scouring my room for things to put on my walls because last year my walls were depressingly blank and it drove me crazy. Not this year, my friend! My walls will be filled and everyone who comes into my room will have a brief glimpse into my personality and I want to make sure it accurately represents who I am inside.

And now, if you excuse me, I am going to go eat some chocolate chips.

Days until I go back to Seattle: 13
Days until school starts: 19

Late Night Thoughts on Old Friends

        I just read Boy Proof by Cecil Castellucci in about two hours. I like reading books like that occasionally, especially during the summer. I am often up late at night, restless, because I sleep until noon so it’s hard to get to sleep at a reasonable hour. It’s 12:47 and I’m actually kind of tired.

I love all things beautiful; it’s all I’ve been reblogging lately on tumblr. Mostly pictures of books. I love books. They are beautiful. I don’t really identify myself with any of the fandoms on tumblr because I’m not as dedicated to one sole thing like a typical fan is.The one thing I’ve been able to focus all of my love and devotion towards for a really long time is books and reading and writing. I think everything surrounding literature is extraordinarily beautiful. The sound of the keys on a keyboard. The way the words look all smooshed together on a page. The way an old book smells. The way books look stacked on top of or next to one another. I want to be surrounded by books wherever I am for as long as I live. They have been my oldest and most loyal friends. I know that no matter who I am or where my life takes me, books will be there until the very end.