Grades- Fall 2011

I usually would not devote an entire blog post to my grades this semester, but I am just so shocked at what I got that I NEED to share with SOMEBODY.

This entire semester I had resigned myself to getting a B in Voting Theory and History. And toward the end of the semester I began to accept the fact that I would bet getting a B in Lit, as much as it pains me. Overall I had expected to get 3 B's, an A (in French), and a passing grade in my Literary Magazine Class Meeting Thing. Well, all of my grades have been submitted and this is what I got: (click on it to make it, well, readable)

WHAAAAAAAAAAAT.

I got an A- in both Voting Theory and History?! I mean, I know I nearly killed myself studying for my Voting Theory final, I sure worked hard on my final History paper, too. But I did not think I did THAT well! I still can't believe it. Part of me is convinced that my professors in these two classes decided to bump my grade up to an A because they liked me- my History professor constantly referred to us as "homies" because we're both from Tucson and he went to the University of Arizona and I went to high school right down the street, and as for my Voting Theory professor...well I always had the feeling that I was the only one who actually liked that class and the professor, and I tried to show it as often as possible in class. Idk idk maybe I'm just CONVINCED that my having gotten A's in these classes is just impossible. But I am certainly FAR from complaining. And look at that GPA! 3.673! Beauteous! 

I'm so proud of myself for doing so well after essentially taking a year off from really academically challenging school work- no offense Art School. I just hope I'm able to keep this up next semester, when I have 8:15 am classes four days a week.... Wish me luck.

Summer Here With an Update

(The title is a reference to YouTube musician Luke Conard. I'm more a fan of his vlogging channel, to be honest, although he is an excellent musician.)

It has been an extremely long time since I last blogged. And now that I am in the midst of finals, I thought that now would be the perfect time to give an update!! Priorities, what?

School is going pretty well. It's hard, but I'm keeping up with my homework. This may be the first time in my whole life that I have turned in every single assignment on time. I've been getting B's on most things, which is totally fine with me. WOO HOO B's. Ugh that hurts me to say. I've always been an A student...but this is difficult. I'm hoping I'll get better.

I think my favorite class would have to be Voting Theory, even though it is the hardest for me to wrap my head around. As I've said in previous blog posts, I love the professor. Definitely my favorite. I really like all of the people in my class, too; it's small enough where everybody is comfortable contributing to discussions and we all meet before tests to study our butts off, because that shit is HARD. I don't think there's any other class where I actually like all of the people. Let's see, Lit? No. History? No, although I do like everyone in my discussion group. French? Not really, but two people brought in french desserts today so today might not be the best day to ask my opinion on them. Camas? There are a few people that I really, really don't like so that cancels out any of the people I actually might like. I don't like that "class" very much at all. I may not take it next semester. In order to sign up for it I have to get a petition to sign up for more than 16 credits, and that just seems like more trouble than it's worth. We'll see.

I'm glad the semester is ending. I am just so donezo with all of my classes and I need a REAL break. Thanksgiving was nice (I spent it here at school by myself. hooray) but it was not nearly enough. I can't wait to be home and have no obligations other than decorating for Christmas, reading tons and tons of books, and turning 20!!! I AM SO EXCITED. I'm just that much closer to being 21...mwahaha.

As far as friends go...I don't really have that many more than I did at the beginning of the year. I talk to people in class, but there's really only three people I've hung out with outside of class. There's Kensie, the Nerdfighter and Whovian mentioned in previous posts. I quite like her; she's in my French and Lit classes and lives in my hall and loves Starbucks as much as I do and baking. I wish I could hang out with her more, but... I don't know. It just doesn't happen. Then there's Gavin, who I actually haven't heard much from lately. For a while he bothered the heck out of me, and I don't mean that he annoyed me I just mean that he was very persistent in hanging out with me. He would come by my room a lot, especially over Thanksgiving because he was also stuck here, and ask me to hang out...but after Thanksgiving he just kind of stopped. I don't know. And finally there's Tommy. He is...a friend. Friend. Yes. Um. You may remember him as the fellow who sat down next to me on the first day of school and asked for my number. Yeah I hang out with him most of the time. And. Yes. I don't know how much I should say because this is...a public blog. And stuff. Oh boy I just made this very awkward didn't I? Welp. HeisgreatokayI'mdonenow.

Boy I just got very tired. But I need to finish preparing for a French presentation Kensie and I are doing tomorrow on CROISSANTS!!!!!!!!! Yummylicious amirite.

Is there anything else I need to update my faithful (LOL) readers (BIGGER LOL) on?! I don't think so. And if there is I'm too tired to remember/care.

PEACE OUT SEACREST.

Please Stand So Close to Me

I am madly in love with my gay, bow-tie wearing, Glee watching Voting Theory Professor.

It was pretty much Love At First Sight. The second he walked into the classroom sporting a bow tie and tattoos, I knew.

The first time I ever had a crush on a teacher was in 8th grade. My Spanish Teacher. He was the coolest: he liked all of the music I liked and he was funny and, if we're being honest, he was pretty cute. I know I was not the only one who felt this way. Why else would the entire Female 8th Grade Population hang out in his classroom at lunch? This was the only explanation. Only I did not see them as legitimate competition, for they did not understand him the way I understood him. I mean, we liked the SAME MUSIC. Obviously it was meant to be.

Of course I forgot about him once I started High School, where I do not believe I had a single crush on a teacher.  No...wait. Sophomore Geometry Teacher. He was pretty fantastic.... But that was pretty much it.

Now when I use the word crush, I do not use it seriously. "Crush" does not equal "Legitimate, Heart-Wrenching, Soul Consuming Love." Anyone who uses the word "crush" in that manner is probably a moron. I tend to opt for the ironic use of the word. (I think I tend to do most things ironically, as much as it pains me to admit. I just can't suppress my hipster tendencies.)

Back to the present. For the first time in my existence, I wish that I needed to take more math classes so that I could be taught by this magnificent human being. However, I have a friend (ANOTHER ONE?! This one you may remember as the fellow who asked for my number on the first day of school....) who is a math major. Perhaps there will be a day or two where I happen to be with said friend when he must interact with a certain Math Professor. "Oh, hello again. Remember me? Of course you do. I am radiantly beautiful and charmingly hilarious. Shall we discuss bow-ties over a cup of coffee? Or tea, if you prefer. I could go either way. Perhaps you could, too...."

This is getting out of hand. I better stop.

I didn't blog yesterday.

Whoops. In my defense, I had a ton of homework and my friend Kensie (You read that right, folks. A FRIEND. You may remember her as the previously mentioned Whovian.) knocked on my door last night and was like, hey, want to see a play for free?! And I was like, DUH. So we saw Linfield's production of The Fifth of July. It was a preview, so that's why it was free, and the opening is tonight. It was very good! I experienced much enjoyment while I feasted my eyes upon the actors and watched their mouths move and heard the words that came out of those mouths and laughed when it was appropriate, etc.

Brb going to Starbucks. AKA my second home LOL AMIRITE.

It's midnight. Better publish this masterpiece.

The Dentist and Some Other Things

Guess what I did today?

That's right, I went to the dentist, for what I am HOPING is the final time I will have to go for something other than a cleaning. I got a permanent crown put on the tooth that suffered through a root canal, so now I can eat on both sides of my mouth like a normal human being. I cannot even express the joy I am feeling right now at the idea of never having my mouth numbed so someone can shave away part of my bone and pull the nerves out of my face. Ecstatic.

In other news, you may have noticed that it is November. If you have not noticed, maybe you ate too much candy last night and are in a sugar coma. That's fine, I'll be here for you when you recover. For those of you who are here  with me right now, and conscious, you may be wondering "Summer, you said you were going to do NaNoWriMo. It's November! Are you doing it?!" The answer is: No. Why? A few reasons. One, I have a hard enough time as it is getting my school work done that adding the daunting task of writing a 50,000 word novel would literally kill me. (My body is a microchip.) (Parks and Rec? Anyone? Well anyway...) Two, um, that's kind of the only reason. BUT- I decided that I am going to blog every day this month. That's an okay compromise, right? Yes, it is. If you said no, then get out. I don't want your kind here.

I don't have anything else to say now and I have homework to do so I will see you tomorrow byeeeeeee!

Here are some photographs of my campus looking pretty:

Children

    The town of Skullson Crossings had an usual tradition. It all started with the taxidermy shop set out by the founders of the town who tried to drum up business in The Middle of Nowhere, Arizona. They figured that there must be some particularly zealous ranchers who fell in love with their cattle a time or two and wanted Old Bessie immortalized. The brothers had no idea how right they would be, and frankly it creeped them out. Not only did the ranchers whose business they relied on want their cows stuffed for all eternity, they also wanted pigs, chickens, rattlesnakes, and horses. The Skullson Brothers could accept this, in fact they were able to put food on their table because of it, but there was no way in hell they would ever taxidermy someone’s Died-Too-Soon Infant. They never thought they would ever have to tell someone “No, I’m sorry, we can’t stuff your dead child.” It should go without saying that they would not do that. But...this town was interesting. Maybe there was something in the water.
    The people of modern day Skullson Crossings were just as eccentric as these ranchers of yore. It was now a tradition among townsfolk to take their family pet to Skullson Bros.’ Ye Olde Taxidermy Shoppe and have them embalmed. It was their version of a normal family’s Pet Funeral.
    Although this was an out of the ordinary tradition, out of towners simply looked at it as one looks on the traditions of a people of a foreign country. It’s not what you’re used to, but you respect their culture. However, there was one thing that made people new to town or just popping in for a visit run screaming out of the city limits.
    You see, just as the townspeople had grown accustomed to seeing their family dog in their living room long after they passed on, they also felt this way about their children, just as the family the Skullson Brothers turned away all those years before. The brothers who founded this town did not get just that one request, they got several. Of course they turned away every single one because that went against some kind of ethical code that they just could not put their finger on but they knew was there. The more grieving families they turned away, the more business they found themselves losing. They realized their business could not make it on embalming cows and chickens alone. So, they decided, the next family that came in asking to embalm and forever preserve their dead child, they would do it. They didn’t have to wait long; within the hour a young couple came in, dressed all in black, of course, as they were still in morning, asking if the Skullson Brothers would be so kind as to consider doing them this one service. They knew it seemed weird, but it would really mean a lot to them. To the young family’s delight, the Skullson brothers said yes.
    And thus a tradition began.
    Of course, the families of Skullson Crossing unfortunate enough to lose a young children did not simply display their child out in the open for company to see. Oh, no. They built elaborate set-ups in their basements, made to look like a child’s bedroom, and depending on the occasion, set the child around the room to make it look like they were a living, breathing, functioning part of their household. Older siblings could have tea parties or pretend to babysit. Grandparents could pretend they were teaching them valuable life lessons. Uncles could pretend to give their infant nephew or niece a can of beer, much to the horror of the parents. It made it seem as though their child never stopped existing. They could have them around forever. And who could argue with that?

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This probably isn't perfect; I haven't edited it or anything, I just wanted to put it out there.
We were talking about Gothic fiction in my lit class today and A Rose for Emily by William Faulkner, so that may have contributed to this...piece of work. Tell me what you think!

Stumptown, USA

YouTube is being weird right now and I want something with which to procrastinate for just a few minutes before I finish my essay for English due tomorrow that is pretty much done but I want it to be really good wow this is a run on sentence let's end it now.

As I'm sure you've noticed, except not because no one reads this blog, I have not posted anything in a while. I haven't had anything that I really wanted to blog about and also I'm lazy. However, I did something fun yesterday, and since I'm procrastinating, I'm going to write about it. So here it is. Now. Go.

My Very, Very, Very Brief Trip to Portland, Oregon. (Seriously. It lasted like three hours.)

My school has this cool thing called the Linfield Activities Board, or LAB, who organizes events and trips and they're always either free or really cheap. For example, they have movie nights in the auditorium and they book comedians and they have like...parties or something. Maybe. But sometimes they organize kayaking or hiking trips, or trips to places like Portland where you go to Hot Lips Pizza and Voodoo Doughnut and you only have to pay four dollars and it's really great.

So yeah that's pretty much it. Bye.


Just kidding. Since when have I kept anything down to a sentence? Never.

There were twelve of us on the trip, including the organizer/driver. Everyone, except me and two other people, was Asian. They were all exchange students who did not speak English that well. This was totally fine with me because I didn't expect to interact with anyone on the trip anyway. I just wanted to go to Voodoo. But once we were in the van, two girls introduced themselves to me and told me how much they LOVED my name and asked me if I've seen (500) Days of Summer. This conversation lasted about five minutes and the rest of the hour long trip I spent looking out the window at the Oregon countryside.

Eventually we made our way into familiar territory, aka the freeway because that is the only part of Portland with which I am familiar. We got off the freeway and made our way downtown and already I loved it, which seems pretty premature, I know, but I know what kinds of places, especially cities, I like, so I know what to look for.

We parked outside of Hot Lips Pizza and it was just the right kind of chilly outside and there were the kind of people walking around that I had forgotten existed because there are NO interesting people inhabiting McMinnville, Oregon. There were people who were wearing things BESIDES tank tops and shorts and flip flops. There was VARIETY! We'd been there all of five minutes and already I never wanted to leave.

This feeling got worse upon entering Hot Lips Pizza. Upon looking at the selections I see that they have a vegan pizza. VEGAN PIZZA. I had completely forgotten that there are places where this is a normal thing to have. McMinnville doesn't do vegan. It BARELY does vegetarian, and even then you have to fight for it. (Let us recall the No-Chicken-On-My-Salad incident at Shari's. Still not over it.) Of course I ordered a slice of this magnificence, and I had forgotten that it's possible for things to taste this good. I was in heaven. I never wanted to leave.

Except I did because our next stop was non other than the world famous Voodoo Doughnut! Anyone who even barely knows anything about me knows that I FREAKING LOVE DOUGHNUTS. They are one of my all-time favorite foods, up there with Coffee and Peanut Butter and Pancakes and Waffles. I have been wanting to go to Voodoo Doughnut since about this time last year, when I was living in Seattle and knew a lot of people from Portland and Portland is really close to Seattle and it's just one of those things that people talk about when they talk about Portland you know? And after my discovery of Top Pot and after falling in love with doughnuts and wanting to try them all and wanting to go to the Best Doughnut Places, Voodoo was a place that needed to be visited by me. I longed to try every single one of their off the wall and interesting doughnuts, except their maple bacon bar because...bacon. I HAD to go to Voodoo. Just. It was my quest for Camelot, okay?

Finally, finally, FINALLY, after driving all of five minutes, and driving PAST Powells, which basically broke my heart because it is Mecca and I have yet to make my pilgrimage, we made it to Voodoo. There was the hot pink, neon sign. Across the street from the parking lot with that building that says "Keep Portland Weird." I get out of the van and run across the street to get in the line that wasn't actually long at all. The organizer of the event (whose name is Nicole and we actually talked a bit and I liked her a lot) said that she was just going to get a Voodoo Dozen and we would share. But being the Coffee/Doughnut connoisseur that I am, I had to get a cup of coffee as well. Famous Stumptown coffee to go with my famous Voodoo doughnut. An 8 oz cup of coffee was only a dollar and it may have been the most delicious cup of coffee I have ever had in my whole life. Better than Top Pot, even. Which I really, really did not think was possible. But it happened. The doughnut I had was this one:

Captain Crunch Magic Deliciousness. In all seriousness, I cannot tell you how amazing this doughnut was. I wish I could have bought a Voodoo Dozen, but they only take cash and I had none. Tragedy, I tell you.

But I finally had my Voodoo doughnut.

As soon as I can figure it out, I am getting myself to Portland and spending an entire day there. I'm going to go back to Voodoo, I'm going to go to Powells, and I may return to Hot Lips Pizza, but I'd like to see what other kinds of amazing food they have in the city. I want to go back and I want to go often. I would really, really, really love to live there someday, if only for a little while. I just think it's so great.

And I'd be lying if I said I wasn't hoping to accidentally run into Adam Ellis, my favorite blogger who just so happens to live in Portland.

I did not run into him.

This time.

Some terrible photographs I took on my phone because it takes better pictures than my digital camera:

Wake Up Call

I have been more on top of my homework these past few weeks than I ever have been in my whole life. You would think that I was the greatest student and the most diligent worker in high school, what with my 3.7 GPA. But, no. I was a slacker. I know I did homework at some point, but sometimes I can't remember ever doing homework for a certain class unless it was the last week before the end of the semester. I don't recommend doing things this way; I was just lucky.

Except, of course, with any Math related class. I was never lucky with math. I had to work my ass off to pull up my grade at the end of the semester and usually managed a B, and maybe once or twice an A.

For some reason I was not able to really make myself do a good amount of or a good job on my homework. I was so tired and three cups of coffee did nothing to make me more awake. I tried writing an analysis of a Walt Whitman poem that I really, really like and I could not manage to write anything decent or that made sense. It was awful. I felt like I was reverting back to my slacker ways and I don't like feeling like I have so much to do and still don't do it.

This morning in my Voting Theory class (which is Math) my professor hands back our homework and tells us that we probably did not get a grade that we would like. He was right. I did HORRENDOUSLY. So did everyone, though. I felt awful. I don't want to be doing so poorly this early in the year. It made me realise that what was happening last night CAN'T happen again. I guess everyone has their bad days, but I should have started working on everything on Saturday instead of doing whatever I did. (What did I do? Oh yeah I volunteered! Okay I'm glad I did that.) I need to get going on my homework right after class so it's fresh in my mind and I don't do a terrible job on it later because I don't remember what we went over in class. Shouldn't I have learned this by now?

I have an hour and forty-five minutes until my next class and I have to finish the aforementioned analysis. Then I'll get started on my math homework that isn't due until Friday. That will make everything better.

On a better note, it's actually kind of cool outside! It's starting to (maybe, hopefully) feel like Autumn and I am so excited. Autumn has always been my favorite season. And when it really feels like Autumn I'll feel right getting a Pumpkin Spice Latte. I'm so excited. Favorite beverage of all time. AND the season premiere of Fringe is on September 23rd, which is the first day of Autumn! How perfect!!

Too many exclamation points! Goodbye!

What Would My Dream Self Do?

There are some mornings when I want more than anything to not wake up because my Dream Self is better and more interesting than my Real Life Self. This has been the case the past two mornings. Yesterday I was torn unwillingly from my dream world by the testing of the microphone in the football stadium that is conveniently located right outside my window. This morning I simply woke up and could not get back to sleep. But it was better this way because if I woke up any later I would not have made it to the dining hall in time to get coffee, and that is a vital part of my existence.

Last night my Dream Self was so close to being my Real Life Self that it was that much more disappointing to wake up. My DS had a huge secret that made her a more complex and interesting human being. She wrote a blog post about this secret and it was a big deal when she sent you the link. She sent it to her mother (who was so much like my mother) but not her sister, who happened to be Monica from Friends...which was not at all like real life, obviously. I woke up wishing that this secret was also mine, even though it was not something one would wish had actually happened to them. I went through great pains trying to figure out how to make that blog post private so not just anyone could see it, and I told myself that when I woke up I would figure it out. (That's a reoccurring thing in my dreams: I am always aware that I'm dreaming, but not enough for it to be considered lucid dreaming. I often reference dreams I had earlier that same night.) Turns out that's not possible.... I sure wish it was though, that's such a good idea. I mean you can do it on Myspace.... Come on Google. Get your shit together.

Anyway, is a word I use too often.  My Dream Self continued on in her daily adventures. It was her birthday, September 9th, and her mother got her a special newspaper for her birthday that had an article about Hitler or something. Then Rory Gilmore showed up and sprinkled the path leading up to my DS's house with rose petals, and she kept picking them up and throwing them into the air because it made her feel like she was a bride in a wedding. She also kept painting her nails different colors. First black, then one finger yellow, and she had to keep doing it because the nail polish chipped too easily.

Eventually she made her way to my school's dining hall because they were having Turtle Chai Bars and she wanted to get some to save for later (which was my plan for this morning, because those were a real thing that they had. They were delicious).

That was pretty much all that I can remember happening, but I still wanted the dream to continue because I liked my dream version of me so much more than the real version. I think this is a problem we all must have at some point. Not necessarily wanting to be the dream version of yourself, but the way you imagine yourself. Just how John Green says we should imagine each other complexly (and I definitely agree with him) I think we need to imagine ourselves complexly. I often see myself as I want to see myself and not as I actually am. That doesn't make much sense. I guess I mean that I find myself wanting to change myself to be like the people I look up to. For instance, in middle school I wanted to be Veronica Mars. Not just model my wardrobe after hers, which I still find myself doing, but I wanted to think like her and act like her and have friends like her's. I know I'm not the only person who does things like this. Just think about you or that person you know how dresses an awful lot like a movie character you know they love.

This is getting away from me. My dream self would be able to word this perfectly to make you understand.

I guess this falls under the category of "Love Yourself as You Are." But we're always going to be wishing we were the way we imagine ourselves. You know, that smart, witty, well-dressed, tragically cool human being with whom everyone wants to be friends you see in your head that doesn't look anything like the person you see in the mirror.

Don't you miss when I posted funny things?

Woa is I

It was beaten into me my junior and senior years of high school by my Creative Writing/English teacher to always have a good title. So that's why I don't title my blog posts "Things I Am Thinking About" or "A List of Things" or "I Went to the Dentist and it Wasn't Fun." Just...in case you were wondering. Which you probably weren't.

School is going well. I really like all of my classes. (Except Voting Theory occasionally, but it's impossible for me to like a math class 100% of the time.) And that's pretty much the only thing I'm liking at the moment. I have a million years until my next class so I'm going to fill that time by making a list of things on which I am currently hatin'. 

1. My Roommate- I know I know, it's only the second week. But I really don't know how I'm going to survive living with this person for an entire year. It's unfair to write bad things about people on the internet, but no one reads this blog so I don't care. I just hope I don't get really famous someday LOL!!!!11 Okay anyway. Things seemed just great at first. She's really nice, she's more awkward than I am (perish the thought!!), and she has a Fringe poster. Everything looked like it was going to go swimmingly! But then. She watches Soap Operas on her computer and laughs VERY LOUDLY and VERY OFTEN and she talks to the characters, even when I'm in here and trying to read about the Ancient Egyptians and Nubians. She is gone all evening and comes back after I've gone to sleep. It's not like I go to sleep early; I try to go to bed by midnight since I have classes in the morning. But she comes back at one am, finds it necessary to open up a new pack of Dr. Pepper and put cans in the fridge, then she watches Futurama on her computer and LAUGHS AND TALKS TO HERSELF. Last night I was trying to sleep and she was doing this so I said, pretty loudly, "HEY DO YOU THINK YOU COULD BE QUIET?" She did not hear me. I almost decided to sleep in the hallway. Also, we have a brita water filter in the fridge (that, for all intents and purposes, is mine) and the only thing I asked of her was to fill it up once the water got below the filter, otherwise the filter would dry out and it would be useless. Did she do this? NOPE. So I put my first ever passive aggressive note on it. It better work I swear to god or I'm taking it out of the fridge and hiding it. One last thing- YOU DON'T PUT ALL OF YOUR GARBAGE INTO THE RECYCLING BIN. IT IS FOR RECYCLABLES. I need to stop writing about this or I'm going to get an ulcer.

2. Not Enough Homework- I'm a total freak for thinking this, I know, but I don't have enough to keep myself busy. I end up reading a chapter ahead of the class because I've finished everything else. There's just nothing else to do here for people who don't interact with other people.

3. McMinnville Sucks- Seriously this town is horrible. The only decent store it has is Goodwill, and it is too far to get to easily. "Downtown" is okay, but it really only has some good restaurants, an okay bookstore, and...I think it has a coffee shop that sells doughnuts. After living in Seattle, I feel like this place is suffocating me. (That is a whole blog post in itself....)

4. Everyone Dresses the Same- Okay people, seriously, do you all shop at the same store? How do you manage to wear a minor variation on the same exact thing? Guys- Nike or Linfield shirt, basketball shorts, flip flops. Girls- tank top, really short shorts, flip flops. I CAN'T TELL YOU APART.

5. Sloppy Firsts Movie- This is my favorite, favorite, favorite book. Of all time. No question. Someone asks me "Hey, Summer, what is your favorite book?" I don't even have to think before I answer "Sloppy Firsts by Megan McCafferty." It has shaped so many parts of my life and who am I am. Well, I heard, from Megan McCafferty herself (via Twitter, it's not like I know her personally or anything) that it is being made it to a movie. I legitimately want to cry. This is the one book I have considered my own for the past three years. I don't want to share it. I don't want an actress to portray a different Jessica Darling than the one in my head. Needless to say I am going to keep so far from this movie. I am not going to have anything to do with it. I just. No. These books are mine and I'm not sharing them.

6. That Girl Who Wouldn't Move Out of the Way on the Sidewalk and Forced Me Into A Tree- Bitch.

That's all for now I think. This sucked but really I'm just killing time until my next class. I still have an hour....

l'Etranger

I enjoy watching people when I walk past them on the sidewalk. I enjoy watching them and looking at them because I know they won’t look at me. They don’t know me. They’ll do anything to keep from having to make eye contact. From having to smile politely or, God forbid, say hello. To me, a stranger. I enjoy watching their shifty eyes dart around, desperately looking anywhere to avoid eyes. I enjoy watching them try to make it look like they naturally don’t see me. I see you and I know what you’re doing, because while you’re busy trying not to look at me, I’m looking at you.

Just Can't Help Myself Apparently

It is no longer BEDA but I had something I just wanted to write about a little bit. And that thing is: procrastination.

It is currently 10:15 pm on Thursday and I pretty much finished all of my homework that is due tomorrow. I just need to finish some things up and go over them to make sure they're complete and correct and everything. I've been basically just sitting here not doing anything because I keep thinking "My work tonight won't take that long, I'll watch an episode of Misfits and then I'll do it. No biggie. It'll take like two minutes. Yeah. Okay I'll just download of New Pornographers really quick. I'm swimming in time. Maybe I'll read a chapter in my book. Yeah. I'm still good."

And I think this is where procrastination stems from. I have been perfectly fine doing everything in a timely matter this week. But as soon as I think I have some time, I get stuck. I can't get into what I have to do after taking some time to do nothing. I have to start immediately or I won't do anything.

This is a really bad habit. I need to learn to balance getting things done right when I have time and having time to do nothing. I think I'm getting better. I am really on top of my homework, which is extremely strange for me.

Okay. I'm going to finish what I need to do. Until later, my friends!

Days until Pumpkin Spice Latte returns: 5

BEDA 31: Not an Ending....

Today is the last day of August, which means that today is also the last day of Blog Every Day in August. This month positively FLEW by. This is something I've really thought a lot about this month. How quickly time goes.

It's gotten so that I can't make myself get excited for something because I know that before I know it, the thing I was looking forward to will be over, and then what? Find something else to be excited about would be the logical solution. But is that all life is to most of us? A series of building excitement and then the eventual boredom that resurfaces once the excitement is over?

When I was in 8th grade, I was IN LOVE with Green Day. They were my everything. This sounds ridiculous, but I spent 95% of my day thinking about them. I still love them and they are still my favorite band (I used to be so embarrassed to admit that, but now I think, Why should I care what you think of my favorite band? It doesn't change what they mean to me.) but it was beyond an obsession back then. I was going to go to their concert, and this was my first concert, and I couldn't believe I would finally be seeing my favorite band live. I would be hearing their music and seeing their faces in REAL TIME right in front of me. But I couldn't make myself be excited. I mean, of course I couldn't wait to finally see them perform, but I knew that if I got excited I would be that much more sad once the concert was over. I didn't want it to end so I didn't want to be excited. Does that make sense? I hope so.

Another thing related to this is my recent Leaving Seattle and One of My Best Friends adventure. This last year was amazing and one of the greatest years of my life. The last day there with Ellie was probably one of the worst days of my life. I didn't want to leave. I didn't want to be over. I hate that something I loved so much had to end. But it did, and it has been a while. I've processed it and, though I'm still not over it, I'm okay with it. It ended, but Ellie is still here and I'm still here and we're still friends.

Something ends, and we move on.

But if I think too much about it, about how everything ends eventually, I get depressed and think, well, what's the point of anything I do? What's the point of getting excited? Getting excited and counting down the days just makes things come and go that much quicker. I also think, Why bother doing anything at all that you enjoy if it's just going to be over? One could argue that, depending what it is, you could come out of it a stronger person, or a more well rounded person, or a smarter person, or anything like that. I think that's why I like books so much. You read a book, and it's fun, and then it's over. But books are never over. Books are full of ideas that you take with you and hold on to forever. The more books you read, the more ideas you have in your possession and the more tools you have for getting through your daily existence. Books make you stronger, books make you more well rounded, books make you smarter. And if you ever wanted the experience again, pick up the book and start at the beginning.

I love college, but sooner than I think, my time and experience here will be over. But the ideas I glean from this campus's every pore will stick with me until I die.


Not sure what the point of this was, but it was nice getting my thoughts out there. And because of BEDA, I'm definitely going to be blogging a lot more.

Days until the Pumpkin Spice Latte Returns: 6

BEDA 30: Nope

Way too much homework to blog tonight. Tomorrow's the last day! Sad but happy because I am busy.

Days until Pumpkin Spice Latte returns: 7

BEDA 29: One's Got Class and the Other One Dyes

A thousand points if you can tell me what the title is from.

Today was the first day of classes, and I SO CALLED IT when I expressed how everything would be better when classes start. First of all, I LOVE my classes. Second of all, people talked to me today! Here is a step by step guide to my First Day of Real College. (No offense art school.)

8:00 am- Be woken up first by alarm then by a REALLY LOUD BANG from outside. I had a heart attack and thought it was a gunshot. But I think it was either the dumpster or something having to do with some kind of electrical transformer or something, I don't even know how that would work, but right after a lot of the power in the residence halls weren't working....

9:15 am- Begin my walk to class. It only takes about five minutes (I already knew where the building and where the class was) but I wanted to find out where I'm going to be getting coffee in the morning. Luckily I stumbled upon it and didn't have to go searching. I got my usual small black coffee, and I must say, it was particularly delicious. Not bitter and slightly nutty. (THAT'S WHAT SHE SAID.)

9:30 am- I go into my school's new building and it smells like a new house. I really hate that smell, but you get used to it. My first class is Intro to Voting Theory and the chairs are so comfortable and the professor has tattoos and a bowtie. He is amazing. The class is VERY interesting and I'm glad it counts as a math class. I've always thought the electoral college was interesting and I've always wanted to learn more about it; high school government was not enough. I also worked the polls for an August election last year. So I think voting is exciting.

10:15 am- Class gets out early, I go buy my textbook. Long line, but not too bad and the book was only $29. Probably the cheapest book I'll buy....

11:00 am- Start organizing my schedule and my homework. You heard that right, I started doing homework at 11 am. Goes to show how serious I am about my education this time around.

12:30 pm- Next class, Critical Methods of Literary Study. In the same building as earlier. The Whovian I met in the French Placement test is in this class (AS I SUSPECTED SHE WOULD BE). We got into groups (A part of me dies every time a teacher says "You're going to be getting into groups...) to discuss a poem and what it says about poetry. I totally kicked my group members' asses with my analysis. It helps that I analyze everything I read all the time, which I feel should be a requirement for every single English major. We need to be able to communicate clearly and effectively what we feel a text is trying to say. We're in college, we should be able to do this by now. It's just such a no brainer for me. I hope I don't sound like I'm bragging or anything. I just really like literature.

1:50 pm- Book it to my French class. I wasn't exactly sure to go because I registered for 101 but got placed in 201 but the classes are right next to each other so I went to where they would be.... The aforementioned Whovian was there as well (WHAT) and she is also in 201. I decided to attend that class and drop the other one. I feel this was the obvious choice. The Whovian was wearing a Deathly Hallows shirt today, and I a Great Gatsby. I told her I liked her shirt again. She told me she liked mine and that she really wanted the Catcher in the Rye one and I said that I did too. I think she might be my long lost twin. Even though she looks nothing like me....

2:45 pm- Leave class after successfull getting the signatures I need to add/drop the French classes and now all I need is my advisor's signature, whom I have not actually met yet. I wander over to where his office is to see if he was busy and he was so I wandered away awkwardly and went and bought some (freaking expensive) textbooks.

4:00 pm- Come back to my room and get organized and do the easiest of my homework. As a reward...

5:43 pm- Go to the dining hall! I got some tasty looking salad thing and some pita and hummus. I mixed things up today and sat at a two-person table on the OTHER side of the room! I did this because I saw someone else sitting alone over there, so I thought, I'll go be alone, too! So I'm sitting, eating, reading, and this kid comes up to me and asks to sit down. He does and asks me about my book. Turns out, he's READ IT. I haven't met anyone who's even HEARD of it. Then we continued to talk about our schedules and books and writing and Seattle.... Eventually I leave and before I go he asks for my number! khsdkfjhsdfkjhsekfbdnsdfmnsdfms. Whaaaaaat. I gave it to him and told him to text me so I have his. I leave and practically skip to Walgreens, where I needed to go to get highlighters and one of those accordion folder things.

And I've pretty much been in my room ever since then. Today was a really good day. Tomorrow I have History of World Civilizations (not excited to buy the books for that one) and French again and Literary Magazine. I also have some more stupid Fall Connections business. Ugh. I've integrated myself into Linfield society well enough. Leave me alone.

Days until Pumpkin Spice Latte returns: 8

BEDA 28: Jump in the Line, Rock Your Body in Time

Okay, I believe you! Sorry, that song has been in my head ever since this girl this morning used Beetlejuice as a mnemonic device for remember this girl Lydia's name. What was her device for my name? "Summer Strawberries on her Skirt." My reaction? "Um, what?" It started with her thinking my name was Hannah. Today has been fun. 

I was having the most delightful dream this morning about hanging out with Michael Chabon when my roommate dropped everything she owns onto the floor and woke me up.

Something in the gym just ended, some kind of "Welcome to the Time of Your Life" speech, and I can tell because there is a horde of people walking from it in different directions, like ants from an ant hill. I wonder if everyone walking into my building can hear me watching Daria because I have my window open. I don't care.

What happened to make me so cynical?? I was sitting on a bench reading while I was waiting for dinner because I had nothing else to do and I was bored (what else is new) and I had the strangest sense of deja vu. This is exactly what happened to me my freshman year of high school. This made me feel a lot better about my current situation because high school ended up being pretty okay. I mean, I got some really good friends out of it. Claire, for example. From every new and different school situation, I managed to find one really good friend. Middle school, Melissa (even though she isn't really a good friend anymore, but she was at some point, so.). High school, Claire. Cornish, Ellie. Linfield, chocolate. Wait, I might be a little premature on this one. I did go to the 76 (is that what you call it? Just 76? We don't have those anymore in Arizona) across the street to get chocolate to eat while I watched Daria to make myself feel better. This 76 also sells Four Loko. Made me LOL. Now THAT would have made me feel better. (I do not condone drinking beverages of the same nature as Four Loko in great quantities, especially if you're underage.) (Wow couldn't get through that without laughing.) (Don't follow my bad example.) (If my parents are reading this, just kidding.)

On some other notes, I am seriously considering studying abroad. And by seriously considering I mean going to do anything in my power to do so. I want to study in London. I don't know if I just want to go for the January term for Creative Writing, or for a whole semester. I just want to go no matter what. I did want to take Creative Writing during the January term, anyway, and it looks like it's only offered in London (to be honest I didn't really look at the other countries...) and it seemed like to much of a coincidence to not be considered.

I said "some other notes," giving the impression that I had other things to talk about. I don't think that is actually the case. I am really excited for classes to start tomorrow. FINALLY!!!!!!!!!!! The reason I'm here. Not sports, not parties. LEARNING. Have I complained yet about the basketball shorts? I believe I have. Well I've started keeping a tally of how many humans of the male species wear something besides basketball shorts. Specifically, pants that aren't of the sweat variety. And the wearing of flip flops automatically cancels out any non-basketball shorts they are wearing. So far I've counted six. In two days. Kill me. No, kill them. Please. Thanks.

Have I mentioned how anxious I am for classes to start?

(Do I even need this countdown?) Days until school starts: 1

BEDA 27: All the people that I meet...

Ellie will be able to finish that sentence. I wish her phone hadn't broken.

I FINALLY, after hours of searching, found a streaming link for today's NEW episode of Doctor Who. On a very related note, I met a Whovian today! She lives on my floor and she is a fellow English major and she was in my French placement test room and I noticed that she was wearing a Doctor Who shirt. What a coincidence, so am I! So I told her that I liked her shirt and we talked about how excited we are for the new episode.

I just got back from dinner and I was planning on sitting in my room for another hour and a half watching Daria to make myself feel better after a lonely, lonely day. I have not met anyone else like me. I mean, everyone acts like they're from California or something. The guys seem like assholes. For example, when I was standing in line for dinner, minding my own business reading my book, these two guys behind me start talking about this "crazy smart" girl who is, I gathered, rather nerdy. And one gentleman said he wants to get her to open up because she's smart but is probably "freaky." My god. I better meet someone who isn't a huge dickwad soon. Hell, I'd like to meet ANYONE soon. No one talks to me. It doesn't help that, when I think someone is going to start talking to me, I cross the street to avoid them. There just hasn't been anyone with whom I would want to engage in conversation. I am hoping hoping hoping that I meet someone who acts intelligent and likes reading in one of my classes. Since my fellow Whovian is an English major, she'll probably be in one of my required English classes. But I'm not holding my breath that we become friends.

Are there any guys here who don't walk around in basketball shorts? Come on. You look disgusting.

I'm going to watch Doctor Who now.

Days until classes start: 2

BEDA 26: Get 2 Kno U!

It's 7:40 p.m. on my first full day of being here at Linfield. The day has been packed full of Fun Fun Fun Get to Know You activities and Convocation and Fall Transitions (for transfer students like little ole me) meetings and blah blah blah.

I hate this kind of thing. I went through it once, last year, and that was enough. I hate it. I hate meeting new people. I don't immediately like everyone I meet. It's a terrible habit, but I am automatically annoyed by every new person that crosses my path (unless they happen to be a Nerdfighter or a Whovian or recognize the obscure book I'm reading) and more likely than not I will ignore them if they try to talk to me. I am a really awful person, but I swear I'm super nice if you get to know me! We just have to get past that awkward I Don't Know You situation. It doesn't help that I am the oddball among all of these new students. Freshman. I am a sophomore. I've gone through all of this before. I would rather sit in Starbucks by myself and read for two hours than stand outside in the hot sun "bonding" with people who share my birth month.

Outside my window there is a girl putting on a brand new pair of roller skates. I am insanely jealous.

If you've read Second Helpings by Megan McCafferty, you have some idea of how I feel. Just think of how Jessica felt during her Get to Know You activities at SPECIAL. (Yet another reason why this book is my Book Soul Mate and why it is my favorite series of all time ever the end.)

My roommate is really nice, and more social awkward than me(though at this point in my life I'm realizing that my social awkwardness stems from my being completely annoyed by the human race). Which I didn't think was possible. But I think we are going to get along fine.

I just want classes to start so I can get going with what I'm here for: learning, learning, learning.

Now i must head off to a residence life meeting. Because I've NEVER lived in a dorm before.
Wish me luck.

Days until school starts: 3

BEDA 25: Move In Day

I'm at Linfield! Well, I'm actually in the hotel room right now because the room was so hot I thought I was going to die. But I moved all of my junk on in there and hung up my darling FOTC poster that won't stay up and my Motion City Soundtrack poster. I'll hang up everything else later. We went to JC Penney and Walmart to get last minute things and peanut butter. I met my roommate and her family and they seem really nice. She also had some posters, including A FRINGE POSTER. UM. THAT SO HAPPENS TO BE MY FAVORITE SHOW ON TELEVISION. I flipped out. She brought a tv so I was like, dude, we are watching Fringe always. She vehemently agreed. Yessssss.

My room looks great and I'm really happy with it. And the campus is beautiful and I just want to school to start so I can learning everything. lsdhglksghfkgjhdfkgjhdfjghdk.

Now I'm going to nap because I'm exhausted.

PIX COMING SOON LOL!!!!11

Days until school starts: 4

BEDA 24: Happy Birthday Mom!/Seattle

Today, like John Green, is my mother's birthday! It is also my aunt's and grandmother's. You heard that right. My mom and my aunt, twins, were born on my grandmother's birthday. I love August 24th. I wore my Pizza John shirt around Seattle in hopes of coming upon a fellow Nerdfighter. Sadly, I did not.

Speaking of Seattle, yesterday was wonderful! The weather could not have been more perfect: the sky was clear and there was a slight breeze and it wasn't too hot and it wasn't too cold.

My mom and I boarded the plane from Tucson to a connecting flight in Phoenix at 8:00 am yesterday. The flight to Phoenix is about 45 minutes. Ridiculous. On the flight to Seattle I slept a bit and then started reading my next Michael Chabon adventure: Wonder Boys. Before I knew it we were landing, getting our bags (or rather my one bag) from baggage claim, and on our way to the light rail to get to downtown Seattle.

You know what? I was right. It really felt like I never left. Walking from the light rail through downtown to the Best Western Loyal Inn was so familiar I could have done it blindfolded.

The first thing we did was go to my favorite favorite place in the whole world: Top Pot Doughnuts. I got a glazed ring and a small coffee, my mom got a raspberry bullseye and a small coffee, and I got my dad a pound of coffee because he is truly, madly, deeply in love with Top Pot's Coffee. After that we were off Science Fiction Museum, another of my favorite places.  I was crestfallen to discover than their new Avatar exhibit was the ONLY THING THEY HAD. Where was the Hall of Fame?! RUINED. THE SCIENCE FICTION MUSEUM IS RUINED. I swear, they better put everything back. I. Hate. Avatar.

After that we went walking around the Seattle Center because it was so beautiful I wanted to see this place in the pretty sunlight.

After that we went down to Pike Place and I went to the Comic Book place downstairs, I'm not sure what it's called, and I got a Flight of the Conchords poster. The LAST one in the store! Total score. Then we went to Zeeks and met my friend Leila there!!! Hooray! That was swell. After dinner I walked with Leila up to Capitol Hill (because I miss it) and to her apartment.

I was absolutely exhausted by the time I got back to the hotel; I fell asleep immediately.

Today my mom and I got everything out of our storage unit, packed it into a rental car (still not sure how we got everything in there), gave Leila some crates and a bookshelf I didn't want, got my mom a salted caramel cupcake from Cupcake Royale for her birthday, and hit the road to McMinnville!

And now here we are. We went to Shari's for dinner and I had to twist their arm until it fell off to get a salad WITHOUT meat on it. Seriously, that's not an option? But it was Free Pie Wednesday, and I got Marionberry and I'm in love with Marionberry, so it was okay. Well, not completely, because they should have vegetarian options, but it was slightly better. After dinner we went over to Linfield and drove around the campus and it's so gorgeous and I'm so so so excited to move in tomorrow!!

Days until school starts: 5

Also, I need a count down or something to keep track of on this blog.... Suggestions?

BEDA 23: Here

Guess where I am.

Go on, guess.

...Wow you are terrible at this. I'll just tell you. I'm in Seattle! Finally. After all this counting down. It's 10:20 pm and I am so dead. I need to sleep. I will blog all about it tomorrow when I am in McMinnville.

Nighty Noodles.

(BOY WHAT A COP OUT LOLOLOL)

Days until I go back to Seattle: Freakin Zero!!!
Days until school starts: 6

BEDA 22: What I Did This Summer

It's technically the 23rd, but I haven't slept yet so the day hasn't ended. It's 12:15 am and I will be in Seattle in 13 hours. I'm watching Fight Club (I did not realise that I know every word to this movie) and I just finished packing and I'm convinced I'm forgetting everything important. Let's see, I packed all of my clothes, underwear, shoes (it's times like these I hate myself for owning so many pairs of boots), purses, socks, books, movies (The Social Network and Daria: The Complete Series).... I'm packing make-up after I get ready tomorrow, and I have a ton of stuff in a storage unit in Seattle (fridge, winter clothes, bike...a ton of other stuff that I plan on getting rid of after I go through it when I get up there), and I'm getting School Supplies up there as well. Still, I have this nagging suspicion that I'm going to get to school and realise I forgot something REALLY, VITALLY IMPORTANT. Looking around my room, though...I think I'm set.

Okay. What I did this summer.

• Read books
• Watched Sherlock five times
• Watched some good films
• And some bad ones
• Drank my weight in iced coffee and lattes
• Hung out with the friends who didn't stop caring (Claire, Molly, Lauren, Zanden)
• Wrote a short film with Molly
• Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows Part 2
• Discovered and fell in love with Michael Chabon
• Went to the dentist four times in a five day period
• Root Canal
• Stitches in my mouth
• Watched way too many YouTube videos
• Went to Bisbee with Claire
• Wrote some good things
• And some terrible things
• Got a new phone
• Nothing really productive.

I think that's pretty much it. If I remember anything later... oh well. I have to be up in Five Hours. My tooth hurts. Time for Vicodin!

Next time I blog I will be in Seattle.

Days until I go back to Seattle: 1
Days until school starts: 7

BEDA 21: Bisbee

Just a warning: I'm on Vicodin because my tooth really hurts, so if this makes no sense, that's why.

Today, my last Sunday in town until December, my dear friend Claire and I took a trip to Bisbee, which is a small mining town about 2 hours south east of Tucson. It was a lot of fun. We started the morning by taking our respective medications, me Vicodin and she allergy medication, so we were nice and loopy. We stopped to get gas and Starbucks and we were on our way.

We drove through many a small rural town with churches aplenty. We also drove through the famous Tombstone, The Town Too Tough to Die! Yeah it was pretty dead.

Soon enough, with the A*Teens, Backstreet Boys, and the Spice Girls escorting us, we drove through the tunnel and into Bisbee. We got out and were hungry and had to go to the bathroom so we went to the bathroom and were hungry so we wanted to eat. We decided to drive a bit more west to try to find Dot's Diner. We got off at two different locations off the roundabout (yes, a roundabout) and did not find Dot's Diner. We did find a weird apartment building on the top of a hill that looked more like an insane asylum. We finally made our way back to Bisbee and decided to eat at the Bisbee Grille. It was delissssssssssh! They had Trivial Perscootskidoodles on the table so we broadened our knowledge while we anxiously awaited our fish and chips. FRIES SO GOOD YUM. Afterward we split a scoop of ice cream and fudge and sat on the steps outside one of the museums and overheard an interesting conversation and laughed at puns. Because it is not Sunday, it's Punday. 

On our way home we sang along with the extremely talented Hawthorne Heights, among other bands from our 9th Grade Days. Panic! At the Disco, I will always love you.

Now I am extremely tired and sitting in my living room watching old tv shows. Bob Newhart here I come!

Good Night.

Days until I go back to Seattle: 2
Days until school starts: 8

BEDA 20: Erg

Today I ate lunch and bought a book and drank coffee and watched National Lampoon's Vacation and The Bob Newhart show and tomorrow I'm going to Bisbee with Claire and I'm really tired. BLOOOOGG.

Days until I go back to Seattle: 3
Days until school starts: 9

BEDA 19: Food

Today I went to the dentist. I know, weird right? It's been so long since I've gone to the dentist. I have really missed it.

Seriously though, today was the worst out of all four of my appointments this week. The actual dentist, a Lady Dentist this time, was very, very nice so it made the visit suck less. The procedure was awful. Long story short, I have stitches and a prescription for mouth wash and Vicodin. I didn't even know there was such a thing as prescription mouth wash.  I can't eat any substantial food or anything with a straw. I've had oatmeal and yogurt. Yum. Since I can't eat any real food, of course I'm craving everything. I want all the Mexican food in the world right now. Burritos mostly. Bean and cheese burritos. Beans and rice. I guess I could actually eat a burrito, but that would take a really, really long time. It was hard enough eating yogurt, I can't imagine a whole burrito. Ugh and I want Chipotle. And waffles. And pancakes. Mmmmmmmmmm burritos.

I want to sleep now. Sorry this is short. But I hurt.

Days until I go back to Seattle: 4
Days until school starts: 10

BEDA 18: I Don't Even Want to Talk About It

Guess what I did today? Went to the dentist. Guess what I'm doing tomorrow? Going to the dentist.

Yes, you read that correctly. I am going back AGAIN tomorrow. To a different dentist, a periodontist this time.

I am FO RIZZLE too pissed off to even discuss this topic any longer. I feel like there are things that have happened this week that I haven't talked about because of this Dental Business. Let's see...

Monday I got a new phone! It's an LG Cosmos Touch and it has a key board and it's small and cute. I was really, really attached to my old cell phone and I was afraid any new phone I got would be too Smart Phoney for me. I hate Smart Phones and I hate touch screens. What I like about the phone I got is it has a touch screen AND a keyboard. If I had to text using a touch screen I would throw that thing at the wall on a daily basis. I get frustrated easily.

Tuesday my dad and I went to Target to get a new backpack for school. I wanted kind of a different one, one that didn't make me feel like I was still in High School, which sounds really stupid I know, but I don't care. We went to one Target and when we walked in I saw that someone that I really, really do not like from high school working there. AWKWARD. Luckily, I don't think she saw me and I kept quite a distance and the backpack was acquired and my dad even got a jacket that he was hoping to get but at first it didn't look like they had it but then it turned out it was on the sale rack. After the Target excursion we went to In 'N Out Burger. HOLY YUM. I got my favorite, grilled cheese. Funny story: I didn't actually like In 'N Out until I had their grilled cheese. After I had it I fell in love.

Wednesday, yesterday, was Root Canal day, and you know all about that. Today was horrible. But there was a huge storm and it rained really hard, so that was pretty cool.

Not much else to blog about today. Hahaha I wrote blob at first. Oh god why is that word so funny right now. BLOB. Hahahahaha.

Okay take the internet away from me now.

Days until I go back to Seattle: 5
Days until school starts: 11

BEDA 17: The Dentist: The Penultimate Peril

Well folks, it's finally here. What you've all been waiting for: The Story of My Root Canal. Here it is. You asked for it and I'm giving it to you.

With no further ado, my story.

Here it is.

Are you comfortable? Do you need a pillow? A snack? No? Okay. Here we go.

I was sitting in the cinema with my good friends Claire and Nora enjoying the antics of the star-crossed lovers in Crazy, Stupid Love (Is there a comma in there? There should be.) when, at approximately 1:10 p.m., with perhaps twenty minutes left of the movie, I had to leave to go to the endodontist. I was not sure if I was actually getting a root canal today; I swear my dentist told me he was going to do some kind of sensitivity testing to see how close the cavity was to the nerve. The Dental Nurse took an x-ray (I don't know what good taking yet another x-ray of the SAME thing would do, but hey, their call) and the endodontist said that there was no way to tell just how deep the cavity was so he was going to take out a filling I already had in that tooth to see, and something about my tooth around the filling looking cracked. WHAT?! So they numbed me and got down to business.

Now, I'm warning you, this may get a little graphic, so if you are squeamish I would suggest averting your eyes.

The endodontist removed my filling and informed me that there was "a lot of drainage." What kind of drainage?! Are my brains falling out? I am guessing it was blood because whenever he moved his hand it looked like there was blood on his dental instrument. How the hell did blood get in there? My teeth are out to get me. Anyway, after removing my filling he said "Yeah, you definitely need a root canal," and that he's surprised I didn't have more of a toothache. Boy Mr. Dentist, you are quite the sweet talker. Seriously. Are you sure your wife won't share you?

And thus commenced the drilling of a hole into the recesses of my tooth. Some truly philosophical thoughts that entered my mind during that hour of rooting and canaling:

"Has anyone ever burped in a dentist's face?"
"If i don't cough I'm going to die. I never have to cough. Why now?"
"What if he drills too far into my head? Is he even using a drill?"
"It smells like Michael's. Are they hot gluing fake flowers into my teeth? I'm not paying for decoupage. This isn't arts 'n crafts."

But then I got pulled out of my delightful reverie when I noticed our dear Endodontist Friend pulling something out of my mouth with the dental equivalent of tweezers. At first I tried not to look because I knew it would creep me out. I looked. It creeped me out. I am really gross and the first thing I thought of was an abortion. (I'll understand if you no longer want to be friends with me after that sentence.) Eventually he started plugging up the hole he made it my tooth with some weird little things... I can't even come up with a comparison. Then he took the weird mouth guard thing I had in there and we all got some nice spit strings to join us in the little cubicle. They took yet another x-ray (this time I can understand why) and I got to see a before and after.

  Then the endodontist told me to rinse with salt water a couple times and that I'd have to go to my regular dentist to get a permanent filling or a crown (just one? both?  some clarification would be nice) as soon as possible otherwise the temporary filling they put in would fall out. APPARENTLY they just do the actual root canaling and then the dentist takes care of actually closing it. Awesome. So tomorrow at 9:30 I have to go back to the dentist (third time this week. what a joy) where they will hopefully permanently fill this canal in my tooth. I think I shall call it the Panama Canal. Oh wait that's taken. Darn it.

As I was leaving they were telling me that I should get it filled before four weeks and I am like, well I'm kind of leaving the state next week so, YEAH. This was a really hard concept for them to grasp. LEAVE THE STATE?! HOW COULD YOU?? Maybe they PLANTED the cavity to keep me here! Absolutely diabolical. But that's Arizona for you!

And there you have it. The thrilling tale of my Root Canal. Stay tuned for whatever fate awaits me at my return to the dentist tomorrow!

Days until I go back to Seattle: 6
Days until school starts: 12

BEDA 16: One Week

That's right, it's been one week since you look at me. Cocked your head to the side and said I'm angry.

Wait, that's not right is it? That is so not right.

What I meant was, one week until I go back to the land of the flying fish and the needles that reach space. It's funny, I'm not even going to be there for 24 hours and I have so much planned:

• Reunite with Leila and give her some of my crap that I don't want to take to school with me.
• Go to Top Pot
• Go to Science Fiction Museum
• Go to Cupcake Royale for Mom's birthday (August 24 just like John Green HEY-O)
• Photobooth Project (sekrit)
• Eat dinner somewhere Seattle-y. We had originally planned on the Hurricane because my mom is in love with their pancakes but we're planning on going to Waffle House before our flight and that would be overkill. So if you have any ideas on where we should eat dinner, you should share said ideas with me. 
• I would really like to go to the library because they have the cutest things in their gift-shop and I'd like some Seattle Library-themed things but I don't know if we'll have time for this. Erg.

Hm I guess that's it. It seemed like there was more, but maybe this is a lot for a less-than-24 hour period. In fact I'm sure it is a lot.

I am, of course, also excited for moving in to my new school and meeting my new roommate and learning all kinds of awesome new stuff. But I'll be more excited for that once the Seattle Reunion has happened and the Moving to School is happening.

This was the quickest summer of my life.

(Actually, my whole life is Summer, because, like, my name.) (I make more jokes about my name than anyone else.)

Days until I go back to Seattle: 7
Days until school starts: 13

BEDA 15: The Dentist: The Saga Continues

Today was the day of my re-scheduled Dentist Appointment. That's right folks, the day had finally come! I was all prepared to have part of my mouth numb for the evening and possibly endure some pain. I go in, I sit in the chair, the Dental Nurse (I still don't know what they're called) makes small talk about school and gives me some kind of "topical" q-tip thing the numb my mouth so they could give me the anesthetic shot (I'm guessing) and leaves to get the Dentist. Another Dental Nurse comes in saying they want to take one more picture before they do anything. Once they took the x-ray, the Dentist comes in and asks if I came with anyone. "Um, my mom?" "What's her name?" "...Cathy?" The Dentist gets one of his assistants to go get Cathy. My mom comes in and the Dentist shows us the x-ray and my (stupidstupidstupidstupid) cavity is really close to the nerve. He said a bunch of things I don't understand, but what I got from it was this: The cavity is so close to the nerve that something bad (???) would happen if they tried to fill it and hit the nerve, so some kind of endodontist (shut up spell check that is a thing) needs to do sensitivity tests and possibly do a ROOT CANAL. UM. So they gave us a referral and my mom and I are like, we're going to have to do this soon because I leave for school in a WEEK. Ugh.

I do not want to have to get a Root Canal, but it's better than my tooth rotting away. I better get it done this week though. Seriously. Enough of this.

I was also supposed to get a new phone today, but when we went to the Verizon store they were OUT of the phone I wanted. Seriously? SERIOUSLY?!?! So my mom is going to get it at another store on her lunch break tomorrow.

Upside of today: My mom and I went to a new coffee shop downtown and the inside looks like a mini Top Pot and I got a delicious latte and the lady who made it tried to make a dinosaur in the foam. It was adorable. I also got TWO NEW PAIRS of shoes! Some black flats and some white converse. I have been wanting flats FOREVS because I'd like to look like a girl when I wear dresses and skirts and stuff. I always either wear Keds or boots. So that's pretty awesome. Yeah.

Days until I leave for Seattle: 8
Days until school starts: 14

BEDA 14: Things to Do When You're Sad

I've been pretty down this week for reasons I won't get into, and I absolutely hate sitting around wallowing in my sadness. Over the years I have sought ways to make myself feel better when I'm in one of my funks. And trust me, I have gone through many a funk. So I have decided to compile a list of things I have found make me feel better.

1. Make Lists- There's nothing better than a good list! Make lists of things you like, things you are looking forward to, your favorite books, your favorite movies, things you'd like to buy... anything positive! Whatever you do, DON'T make lists of things of things that make you angry or things that you hate. That will only make your mood worse!
2. Watch Your Favorite TV Show or Movie- Actually, it doesn't have to be your favorite tv show or movie, just one that you like and has the ability to take you out of your world and make you think about the lives of fictional characters. I tend to opt for Gilmore Girls. I know every word to the entire series (except the sixth and seventh seasons because those don't count) and, just as the Greeks liked watching plays like Oedipus over and over and over again because they knew what was going to happen and they liked watching the story unfold, I like watching these people I have grown to think of as my own friends and family go through life. I also like watching Flight of the Conchords, Mean Girls, and any teen comedy from the 90's (such as Can't Hardly Wait or Drive Me Crazy).
3. Bake Cookies and Eat Most of the Dough- Who doesn't love the smell of warm snickerdoodles filling up your house? A surefire way to make your sour mood disappear! And just the feel of warm cookies on your tongue will make you forget about whatever it was that was making you sad.
4. Get Out and Do Stuff- Staying in your room staring at your walls will only lead to thinking way too much. Getting out and going to a coffee shop or a bookstore will give you a little break from thinking, which is something all of us needs at some point.
5. Look At All of Your Signed Books- What, just me? This is actually the one that inspired this list. I got up to get my chapstick from on top of my bookshelf and I saw The Lover's Dictionary by David Levithan sitting there and I decided to open it. Seeing his signature and the little smiley face he drew not only made me really happy but it also brought back the memories of the night of his reading and book signing. He is a really great human being! I love reliving all of the moments I met someone who has inspired me and means a lot to me. Instant Mood-Lifter!

That's all I can come up with for now, but it really made me feel better. Today (starting last night, actually) has been the worst and for no reason other than me sitting around being sad. Watching Gilmore Girls all day and some chocolate ice cream and The Lover's Dictionary has turned the evening around! I'm not going to sit around being sad anymore. I'm not going to let my last week of summer vacation be a big mopey mess! Nothing's going to get me down! Mwahahah!

Okay I'm starting to sound a little insane.  Back to Gilmore Girls....

Days until I go back to Seattle: 9 (SINGLE DIGITSLJSDFKJSDLFJSLFJKSDF)
Days until school starts: 15

BEDA 13: Uh....

I really just don't have anything to blog about today. Order of the Phoenix is on tv right now. I ate some food today. Seriously though. Nothing. Maybe I have some interesting pictures on my computer.

This is a picture of Hank Green when he played with Paul and Storm in Seattle in March.

I don't really have anything to talk about. OH WELL. If there's anything you think I could write about...let me know! That would be awesome.

Until tomorrow, I suppose!

BEDA 12: Woolcome to New Zealand

I don't really have anything to blog about today. Except, I guess, for the fact that I am itching to start seriously packing for school.

My goal is to only bring what can fit into a checked bag, a carry-on, and a backpack. Sounds daunting, I know. But I think I mentioned that last year I was drowning in all of the stuff I felt it necessary to bring with me to school. Would you like to see a picture? Here you go.

 Of course, these pictures were taken when my room was in a state of utmost despair. Despair? Disrepair.... Well, both of those. Anyway, you still get the idea that I had A TON of stuff. No one needs that much stuff. Also, I had mailed home most of my books and impose, so just imagine the whole top of that desk filled with books and movies.

Basically I don't need any more than the necessities, which is true of any person, but I am taking special measures to make sure that this is especially true for me. I want less stuff in my space and more things on my walls.

This post is going nowhere. Probably because I'm watching Flight of the Conchords and I keep getting distracted by the hilarity of this show. If you haven't seen it, I feel very bad for you. SUGAR LUMPS! Best song oh my god okay I'm going to come back to this a little later.

In other news, I bought a book today. It's a collection of short stories called A Model World by Michael Chabon. I wanted to get a book of short stories to bring to school with me because with short stories you don't have to commit to reading a whole novel when you've got the thought of all that homework hanging over your head. And reading a novel will also distract you from said homework. I know this from personal experience. This also has to do with the abundance of stuff I had last year. So. Many. Books. This year I am only bringing the aforementioned book, an Edna St. Vincent Millay poetry collection, and possibly one other book, at the very least so I have something to read on the plane there.

As if you even need it summarized, my Ultimate Goal this year: Become a Minimalist.

Now I'm going to go watch more Flight of the Conchords. And remember: You don't have to be a prostitute.

Days until I go back to Seattle: 11
Days until school starts: 17

BEDA 11: Michael Chabon

Hang on I'm listening to Accio Deathly Hallows.
Yeah Accio Deahtly Hallows, Incendio book sales embargos, it'll be like Phoenix tears on a broken nose! Ohhh Accioooo Deahtly Hallows.
Okay it's over.

In the midst of the Harry Potter, Saga-Ending Movie Madness, I stopped everything I was doing to re-read the last three books (I had re-read the first three over Winter Break). Among the everything that was stopped was my reading of the book Manhood for Amateurs by Michael Chabon. This is my second book by Michael Chabon, the first being The Mysteries of Pittsburgh, which immediately earned its place among my Favorite Books of All Time. It is AH-MAZING and everyone should read it. Anyway, after I finished my Harry Potter Madness re-read, I got back to Manhood for Amateurs and I just want to gush about my love for this man.

The first time I had heard anything about Michael Chabon was from, who else but John Green. I remember him mentioning him a few times on his blog, back when he kept up with his blog regularly. For some reason, I was totally and completely intimidated by Michael Chabon. Probably because one of the people to whom I look up to the most holds him in such high regard, and his book covers are just so EPIC looking.... I was afraid I would attempt to read his work and either fail or hate it. And I couldn't stand the idea of hating something that John Green loved, because he is such a big influence on my life and my hating something he liked would somehow jeopardize the validity of his influence. I don't know. I'm crazy.

However, I most certainly do NOT hate Michael Chabon. I love him. I LOVE HIM. Well, his writing, at least. Although... after reading the majority of Manhood for Amateurs (I have forty pages left), which is a collection of essays about his life as a, well, man, I think that, while I perhaps don't love him, I do really like him. I see a lot of myself in him, if that makes sense.... Whenever I say "He feels the same as me about a lot of things" I feel like I don't get my point across.... He sees the world in a lot of the same ways as I do. (That's kind of better.) His writing is absolute genius, on top of it all. I feel like reading his work makes me a smarter human being, unlike other books. (Hector and the Search for Happiness pops into my head, for some reason....) He is an absolute joy to read and I regret having been so intimidated because that meant it took me this long to pick up one of his books. And I am so much better for having done so.

Days until I go back to Seattle: 12
Days until school starts: 18

BEDA 10: Hector and the Search for Happiness

This morning I finished the book my school sent me for orientation, Hector and the Search for Happiness by Francois Lelord. I started it with a good feeling because it looked short and sweet, but once I got through a couple chapters, it started to infuriate me. The story is pretty good, it's about a psychiatrist who hated having his patients be unhappy for no reason and he wanted to travel around the world to figure out what makes people unhappy. He goes to China, Africa, and Los Angeles. Of course, the narrator never explicitly says that Hector goes to Africa or Los Angeles, you have to figure it out for yourself. And thus began the infuriation (I think I just made up that word). The author writes as if the reader is a five year old, using euphemisms to avoid using Grown Up Words for things, like sex or...I should have written down examples because there is an abundance. It got so that I could only read a chapter or two at a time before I rolled my eyes at the condescension and put it down for the day. The last couple chapters got better because it was mostly wrapping up and they didn't have to introduce any new concepts difficult for the reader's small brain to handle. If you like books that are written simply, then you will enjoy this. Not to sound pretentious and pedantic, I like books with more complex writing (like anything by Michael Chabon, who, if you haven't, you must read immediately.) so most of the time I found it boring and condescending and I just couldn't take it.

However, I am going to try to write an essay on it by friday so I can possibly win an essay contest and get all of my first semester books paid for. And that would be amazing.

Speaking of first semester, I started packing last night! I'm surprised I made it this far into the summer without packing for this year. I LOVE packing. I don't know why. It may have to do with my being excited about whatever it is for which I am doing the packing. I haven't started packing clothes yet, except sweaters, because I'm, well, wearing them. I've mostly been scouring my room for things to put on my walls because last year my walls were depressingly blank and it drove me crazy. Not this year, my friend! My walls will be filled and everyone who comes into my room will have a brief glimpse into my personality and I want to make sure it accurately represents who I am inside.

And now, if you excuse me, I am going to go eat some chocolate chips.

Days until I go back to Seattle: 13
Days until school starts: 19

BEDA 9: Memorieeeees, All Alone in the Mooooonlight

Two weeks from today I will be getting on a plane and going back to the place that for the last year I have called my home. Even though I'm back at the home where I grew up (and, let's be honest, will always be my home no matter where I find myself) and even though I am going to be living somewhere else this year, I still consider Seattle my new Home. When I first thought about what it would be like to go back there after three-ish (pretty much four) months away, I thought that it would be the weirdest thing. To be back there and not live there, to be back there and not have Ellie there... Those concepts will still be irksome when I'm back. But, I think that when I'm finally there, it will be just as familiar as if I lived there and just hadn't left my house in a while. It will definitely be warmer than the last time I was there, and who knows, maybe it will be sunny. But I definitely think that it will feel like I never left.

It's weird being away somewhere for eight months and then coming back to the place you've been for 18 years. When you come back, you feel like all the things you did and all the adventures you had never happened. Like they were all apart of your overactive imagination. When I go back I expect all the feelings those adventures instilled in me to come flooding back. I'll walk downtown once getting off the Light Rail and walk past the spot where Leila slipped that time after the snow on our way to the Light Rail to go home for Thanksgiving. I'll walk up Capitol Hill and think of all the times Ellie and I walked all over the place, whether it be after a Brandi Carlile show or to go to IHOP or to get Vegetarian Thai Food and instead be given Chicken. There are memories over every inch of that city, and I'm excited and terrified to be remind of all of them.

Days until I go back to Seattle: 14
Days until school starts: 20

BEDA 8: My Love for YouTube

Anyone who knows me can tell you that if there is one thing I am passionate about besides books, it’s YouTube. I have been glued to the tubes of you for almost exactly four years. It all started one fine day in late August when my dear friend Claire came over to bake a cake celebrating Bella Swan and Edward Cullen’s wedding engagement. (Yeah. That actually happened. There is photographic evidence. Don’t ask to see it. If anyone I know now sees it, I may have them killed. On second thought...)

After we finished the cake (shown above) and after the Paramore dance party, we went online to watch videos of cats.  Because, well, have you met Claire? We may have watched some Fred videos, too, before he was Fred and back when he made other kinds of videos with his friends and I distinctly remember some Foutains of Wayne songs... Anyway, after that Claire told me I HAD to watch this song this guy did about Harry Potter called Accio Deathly Hallows. Totally down, obviously. After I let the beauty wash over me, we decided to watch more of his videos, from the beginning. Then, what’s this? His brother makes videos, too? I am much intrigued. After Claire left my house, I continued watching the magnificence that are: Daily Vlogs. Nothing could tear me away from that computer screen. Within no time at all, I was a full-fledged NerdFighter. And still am to this day, perhaps even more so.

It is now a weekly occurrence for me to stay up really late at night watching or re-watching my favorite YouTuber’s entire oeuvre. I am currently working (er- re-working) my way through the videos of hayleyghoover. As I began this journey through her video past, I decided to list my favorite YouTubers for those who are wondering and for those looking for something to watch. Now, before you scream in protest and throw eggs or some other foul-smelling food product at me, I am not including the Vlogbrothers in this list. It would be the world’s biggest DUH, and if it weren’t for them this list wouldn’t exist in the first place. So, for once in your life it is acceptable for you to assume something, and that is the fact that the Vlogbrothers are my Numero Uno favorite YouTubers of all time. (Thank you, John and Hank Green, for everything you do.)

And without further ado...

1. LiveLavaLive- This was the first channel I discovered completely on my own, by going through the browse tab on YouTube. (The first one I watched was Blank Book, and I remember because I thought it was really dumb.... Thank goodness I didn’t let that stop me from watching more....) I watched all of Mitchell Davis’s random videos in one night. This was about three years ago, and every once in a while I’ll go back and watch 50 Cent or Happy Birthday or A Video for the Lost. (Links please.) Mitchell and his best friend Kyle Sibert’s videos have gotten more and more creative as the years have gone by, and I always, always love them. (If you haven’t seen The Party Music III, WHAT ARE YOU WAITING FOR?!) They are absolutely genius and beyond hilarious and I can’t get enough. (While you’re at it, go watch all of Kylesnexusone. Shhh... Just come.)
2. Owlssayhooot- I find myself agreeing with nearly everything she has to say. I think her view of the world is lovely and I would love to be able to travel (especially to London) as often as she does. I think she is actually my favorite YouTuber at the moment, so if you don’t already, go treat yourself and have a watch. She is delightful.
3. Hayleyghoover- Oh my god could this girl be any more hilarious? I do not think so. She is so funny and she never fails to make me laugh. I also love her blog and her love of writing and I am seriously considering doing NaNoWriMo this November because of the video she did about it. Also, her favorite fictional romance is Jessica Darling and Marcus Flutie. Oh hey, me too.
4. Nanalew-Her videos have gotten more and more beautiful this past year or so. I actually started watching her videos because she was (well, is, but it’s kind of...defunct) a part of the collab channel Vlogvetica, with Mitchell Davis and Dan Brown and Meekakitty and Catrific. I watched her videos and I fell in love with them. She can be funny and serious and creative and I love it all.
5. Italktosnakes-You can tell that Kristina is a really good, nice person just from watching her videos and reading her blog. Her music is great (All Caps, anyone?) and she is really fun and creative. 

Of course, these aren’t all of the YouTubers I watch, these are just my favorites whose videos I consistently watch over and over. Some of my other favorites include: Meekakitty, Nerimon, Charlieissocoollike, Lukeconard (especially Lukeconard2, where he does daily vlogs.), Elmify, Frezned. (There are probably a ton more that I’m missing, but I think you get the idea that I REALLY LOVE YOUTUBE.)

So, there you have it. A list that I have always been meaning to make and never got around to. Among the many people I love on this website, the website itself will always keep me coming back. It’s such a new concept, taking a video camera and recording yourself and your friends or an idea you had and putting it on the internet for the world to see. Its possibilities for creativity are endless and it will always be changing for the better. It’s the people that make it and it will continue to evolve and make it possible for this wonderful, collaborative community to keep growing.

(Now, how many people do you know who are willing to profess their undying love for a website?)

OH! One more thing. Hank Green tweeted about this video today, and it says a lot of what I feel about the YouTube community that I don't talk about in this post...so you should go watch it. Here.

Days until I go back to Seattle: 15
Days until school starts: 21