What Would My Dream Self Do?

There are some mornings when I want more than anything to not wake up because my Dream Self is better and more interesting than my Real Life Self. This has been the case the past two mornings. Yesterday I was torn unwillingly from my dream world by the testing of the microphone in the football stadium that is conveniently located right outside my window. This morning I simply woke up and could not get back to sleep. But it was better this way because if I woke up any later I would not have made it to the dining hall in time to get coffee, and that is a vital part of my existence.

Last night my Dream Self was so close to being my Real Life Self that it was that much more disappointing to wake up. My DS had a huge secret that made her a more complex and interesting human being. She wrote a blog post about this secret and it was a big deal when she sent you the link. She sent it to her mother (who was so much like my mother) but not her sister, who happened to be Monica from Friends...which was not at all like real life, obviously. I woke up wishing that this secret was also mine, even though it was not something one would wish had actually happened to them. I went through great pains trying to figure out how to make that blog post private so not just anyone could see it, and I told myself that when I woke up I would figure it out. (That's a reoccurring thing in my dreams: I am always aware that I'm dreaming, but not enough for it to be considered lucid dreaming. I often reference dreams I had earlier that same night.) Turns out that's not possible.... I sure wish it was though, that's such a good idea. I mean you can do it on Myspace.... Come on Google. Get your shit together.

Anyway, is a word I use too often.  My Dream Self continued on in her daily adventures. It was her birthday, September 9th, and her mother got her a special newspaper for her birthday that had an article about Hitler or something. Then Rory Gilmore showed up and sprinkled the path leading up to my DS's house with rose petals, and she kept picking them up and throwing them into the air because it made her feel like she was a bride in a wedding. She also kept painting her nails different colors. First black, then one finger yellow, and she had to keep doing it because the nail polish chipped too easily.

Eventually she made her way to my school's dining hall because they were having Turtle Chai Bars and she wanted to get some to save for later (which was my plan for this morning, because those were a real thing that they had. They were delicious).

That was pretty much all that I can remember happening, but I still wanted the dream to continue because I liked my dream version of me so much more than the real version. I think this is a problem we all must have at some point. Not necessarily wanting to be the dream version of yourself, but the way you imagine yourself. Just how John Green says we should imagine each other complexly (and I definitely agree with him) I think we need to imagine ourselves complexly. I often see myself as I want to see myself and not as I actually am. That doesn't make much sense. I guess I mean that I find myself wanting to change myself to be like the people I look up to. For instance, in middle school I wanted to be Veronica Mars. Not just model my wardrobe after hers, which I still find myself doing, but I wanted to think like her and act like her and have friends like her's. I know I'm not the only person who does things like this. Just think about you or that person you know how dresses an awful lot like a movie character you know they love.

This is getting away from me. My dream self would be able to word this perfectly to make you understand.

I guess this falls under the category of "Love Yourself as You Are." But we're always going to be wishing we were the way we imagine ourselves. You know, that smart, witty, well-dressed, tragically cool human being with whom everyone wants to be friends you see in your head that doesn't look anything like the person you see in the mirror.

Don't you miss when I posted funny things?